The slump

SO every year I have one. For the most part I don't really know when it will hit. Its that yearly slump you get into. You know the one...when you seem unmotivated to do anything. Some would call it depression. I call it a slump because I never stay in it long. However, I stay just long enough to realize I don't want to become a permanent resident. With my anxiety I have been destined to live my life always on my p's and q's. Its just my personality. If I venture to far off the road I can fall into depression or worse extreme anxiety. So I choose to stay on a very straight and narrow path. That means workouts regularly, eating right, staying on a consistent schedule. I know sounds kinda mundane. I didn't ask for my life to be so predictable but hey its a small price to pay to keep depression and anxiety at bay.
So this week I heard my dad was admited into the emergency room. He ended up OK but he was diagnosed with high blood pressure. That was after finding his over 200. Yeah, walking stroke. He is lucky he didn't suffer one. Thing is I am not close to my father never have been. Him and my mother divorced when I was 2. I spent the summer with him and his 2ND wife every summer. I never made the effort and he didn't either as I got older to keep in touch. When I heard the news I was shocked. I guess I never gave it a thought that I could loose him. How would I feel, could I deal with all that came with it?
So that kinda put me in a slump this week. I also as I am sure most people do kinda get tired of work. I found myself getting way negative. I stayed in my cave for 2 days. I didn't leave my house. I tried once and had a mild panic attack at the local CVS. So you can see why I call this my slump. I just kept going through the motions and eventually I am coming out of it. One thing that has helped aside from my wonderful husband. I started feeling gratitude. How powerful! When it was time to work out I thought "thank god I am healthy enough to enjoy a good hard workout". When it was time to go to work I thought "thank you lord for letting me use my talents to help others." When I had a panic attack "thank you for helping me grow and work towards something better." When I looked in the mirror and was tired of seeing the same old thing I thought "thank you for the gift of life." The biggest thing I have gratitude for is all the people in the world making there way right beside me. We don't always realize it especially when we are in that slump. We are all in this together and that is truly something to be thankful for. WE are never alone. Someone has always had a similar experience and can relate to you.