Glimpses of Truth

Judgement something we are all familiar with in one way or another. I have found in my life it is at times so easy to judge others and as you are doing it not look in the mirror at yourself. I never thought I was judgmental. The thing is I am way harsher on people than I gave myself credit for. I have judged those I work with as well as family members and friends. I see mistakes they make and actions they take and think "how can they be so stupid" Like I have no fault. All this goes on in my head of course. Its not like I would tell anyone one of the people I have judged over the years to there face and they would never suspect it. For the longest time I didn't get the arrogance that I was experiencing. The thing is it wasn't until the other day after my new baby nephew was born I had a sorta cleansing experience as only the birth of a newborn so perfect in love can bring. Its as if for a moment I saw the world through the innocence of this child. It really is weird as I had what Oprah would call an "AAH HA" moment. Its like the mirror was turnround to me and I saw that I am no better or worse than those I had judged, even if only in my mind. Its moments like that I feel like I have waited my whole life for.
There is a Sting song that I love this one line in. Something like "your face will turn to alabaster when you find your servant is your master." Yes, it is a crazy line but that is the point. Those that you think you are better than often times are your greatest teachers. So cast judgement on no one....Well I am still human but lets just say I am working on curbing my judgemental side for now especially as the mirror has been turned to me and I see my imperfect reflection looking back.
There are many truths in life waiting to be discovered. Why do we expect so much from others yet may not give as much as we are asking for. Maybe we don't realize this because again the mirror hasn't been turned our way. Why do we give and secretly expect in return. Expecting even in secret after giving isn't a gift at all. Yet so many of us do it. For example: I have a coworker who is around 60 years old and has a son around 42 or so with a couple of older kids and a wife. She was upset and hurt because he hasn't responded to her asking for him to help her with some work on her home. She is also a single woman. So that is understandable. However when I mentioned to her that he did have a family of his own to support and provide for and that should be his number one priority she got kinda hurt. She understood that to be true but said " well what about the time I bailed him out of jail due to unpaid traffic tickets." I guess I shouldn't have done that. It was clearly her anger talking. The thing is I asked " Did you give out of love purely or were there secretly strings attached to it". It appears it was the latter. She said "well I am his mother". As if that alone changes everything. Yes, I said you are but it isn't a crises and he will come around in his own time. Like how many mothers probably secretly feel like that. Well I gave you life and well you should drop what you are doing for me. I believe yes you sacrificed but it was your choice as a mother your child owes you nothing. Now if he should shower you with all his time and energy or whatever that is there choice and it is a gift. So the question is did you sacrifice and give secretly expecting your child to care for you as you did them or to care for you when you get old. Then I would say you were not giving without strings and that isn't really giving. Its a lesson a very hard lesson that we could all learn a little better. What are your intentions when you give. Usually when you give anyway the reward is so much greater and that has often times been said.
I remember volunteering with Hospice. I walked up to the nurses station and asked if there were any patients needing company. The nurse told me a lady down the hall whom was battling cancer and had a short time to live didn't have much family. So I went to her room and she was older around 70 or so of African American decent. I sat beside her bed in a chair and asked her questions about her life. She told me many stories and sometimes it was hard to understand her. She had a peaceful smile even though she was in much pain. After talking for a while I asked if she would like her feet rubbed. She was so delighted in my offering and was ready for the rub. So we sat her up in the chair and I rubbed her feet as she looked so peaceful and showed on her face how nice it felt. I was nervous and a tad awkward at first. She got more and more relaxed and started to fall in and out of sleep. IT wasn't long before my hands got tired and well she needed rest. I will say that is one of my most genuine giving moments. I don't know what became of her. I never saw her again. That is an example of how I got so much more back than I ever gave. IT still warms my heart to think of the purity of that moment. Two strangers one with so much life and the other with so little left. We came together we connected and it was magical. Those pure moments seem far and few between as life gets busier and more complex. Again I say its moments like that I feel I had waited my whole life to experience. Throughout life we get morsels of that purity in spirit the glimpses of truth. The rest, well we must make it with what we got and learn from others even those whom we feel we are better than. Remember the song "you find your servant is your master".